Normality
by RainaValentinexx
Summary: She just wanted to be a normal girl with a normal life and a normal boyfriend...but when you have two lovesick sociopaths pining after you; one your crazed gang leader boyfriend whom uses you as a punching bag and the other being a sadistic, bi-polar sex god of a rival of said crazed boyfriend's lethal opposing gang, "normal" is a long shot away!
1. Chapter 1

WARNINGS: This story contains domestic abuse/relationship abuse, cussing, and OOC-ness. You have been warned.

A/N: Thank you guys for all the immense support you all sent me after I told you guys about my dad leaving and current family situation. I love you guys so much! I consider you all friends. All those messages and touching things you guys left me in the review made me "slightly" tear up aka niagara-falls-on-my-cheeks. I love you all so very much and if you guys ever need anything, just do a pigeon call and I'll be there to help. Love you guys! Hope you enjoy this new story I started!

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, Neji would still be alive T_T

Date our gang leader, he's a good guy, they said.

It will be fun, they said.

What's with the bruises, they said.

Don't drink that cup of bleach, they said.

A harsh slap to the face rung in her ears.

Tenten soothingly rubbed her swollen cheek, "What the hell do you mean you 'want out'? Out of this gang or out of this relationship?"

Tenten tremblingly wiped the spit Hidan had practically spat in her face, "B-both."

Hidan mockingly laughed as he leaned against his motorcycle,"Yeah, and I want to be an astronaut president."

"It's not you! It's me!"

(It was totally him.)

Hidan rolled his eyes, "Talk once more about breaking up and slash or leaving the 'Akatsuku' and I'll slit your throat and burn down your house...with you or whatever is left of you in it."

How romantic.

Hidan took out a cigarette and lit it. He took a long drag and blew the smoke towards her porcelain face,"Go to Konan and get her to cover up that black eye. I heard the overly-confident 'Byakugan' gang is going to be here tonight. They don't usually come to these parts so I need to make a good impression before I bash their skulls in. I don't need my woman looking like a trashcan."

Tenten coughed and turned around to find Konan, "Oh and Tenten," she turned around hoping for a spontaneous coma to befall her,"Remember that I know where you live. Don't embarrass me in front of them or I will ensure that you become an orphan. Understand?"

Tenten tremblingly nodded and took a big breath of air to calm her nerves. Tenten politely swerved through the crowds of interlaced gangs and smoke clouds from motorcycle exhausts. There was the 'Akatsuki', 'Shinobi'', and less important gangs whom really aren't worth mentioning. Every week they all rounded up in the abandoned junkyard by the woods and would beat each other senseless in a drunken daze with a great many casualties here and there. Every gang minus the legendary 'Byakugan' because they thought stabbing people merciless once a week wasn't the ideal tradition but this week, rumors had spread they had fully participated for reasons unknown.

Tenten had heard that the men in 'Byakygan' were handsome sex gods who could severe one's head in less than 0.7 seconds. If she could see one of the 'Byakugan' members beat her abusive boyfriend to a pulp...Oh...she'd give her life savings plus her virginity and a coupon to Ichiraku's ramen shop to see that.

Tenten skimmed the lethal crowds looking for Konan. She wandered deep into the woods hoping she'd find a fully clothed Konan without her touchy touchy boyfriend, Pein. If she didn't find Konan and her make up kit, Hidan would give her another black eye to match the one she already had. You see, he didn't want people thinking he was a woman beater which he very much was. Tenten had the bruises to prove it.

Tenten's breath hitched in her throat as she felt someone harshly slam her into a tree, "Hey sweet thang."

A stumbling stranger who smelled like cheap beer and desperation stroked her swollen cheek, "What are you doing here all alone?"

"Please leave me alone. I don't want any trouble," Tenten tried to say as politely as possible in order to prevent her throat getting slit, "My boyfriend wouldn't appreciate this."

"Don't worry. He won't find out. And even if he did, it's not like he would try to strangle us to death or something."

Tenten nervously clicked her tongue, "Yeah, about tha-"

The repulsive stranger cut her off by putting his grimy index finger on her smooth lips, "Shh. You're ruining the moment."

Tenten knitted her eyebrows together.

What moment?

Tenten desperately shook her head, "You're drunk. I'm trying to make sure my boyfriend doesn't shorten your life expectancy here!"

He stumbled back in a drunken haze, "But...but...we have so much in common. Why must you break my heart?"

Oh god.

He was one of THOSE drunks.

The absolutely pathetic 'why-won't-you-love-me-no-one-loves-me-because-of- traumatized-childhood-negligence' type of creepy drunk.

Tenten scoffed, "Go home. You're drunk."

Suigetsu drunkenly slurred, "Don't be so prude, little mamasita. I'm just trying to have some fun."

Tenten knitted her eyebrows together and exasperatedly shook her head, "Mama-what?! I'm sorry, I don't speak Spanish- Alright, this is getting ridiculous. I'm going back to the junkyard. Adios."

"What about all the memories we shared together?"

"You pushing me into a tree and calling me "sweet thang" are the only memories we have," Tenten began to slow walk away, "You're heavily intoxicated. So if you'll excuse me, I'll just-"

The unnamed stranger pulled her back and slammed her against the tree once again, "You're not going anywhere."

She closed her eyes. Maybe if she sighed deep enough, she could disappear. She cracked open one caramel colored eye. Nope.

Still there.

Darn.

...but what was that sweet, sweet aroma?

"The lady said to let her go, Suigetsu."

Tenten looked up to see who her knight in shining tin foil was. Her jaw almost dropped. A muscular guy with long hair pulled the tipsy stranger off her. The now sobering stranger gulped as he saw his life flash before his eyes, "Fuck! Neji! I-I-I didn't know that she was your woman!"

Neji glared at Suigetsu as an anime sweat drop appeared on his forehead, "She obviously doesn't want you to bother her."

Suigetsu looked back between Neji and Tenten and back at Neji, "She-she came onto me. I told her that I had a girlfriend but she's persistent. She can't keep her hands off me!"

Neji rose an eyebrow and Tenten replied in disgust and glared at Suigetsu, "I'd rather stick my head in a blender."

"Scum like you need to be taught a lesson," Neji cracked his knuckles, "I don't take too kindly to liars."

Suigetsu gulped.

He rolled his tongue in a pathetic attempt to imitate a phone ringing as he slowly descended back into the woods, "Rrrrrrrrr-ing. Rrrrrr-ing. That's my house phone ringing. I better go get it."

Tenten sighed as the drunk desperately ran into the woods as if he was running for his life which he actually was unbeknownst to Tenten, "Thank you."

Neji walked closer up to her and took a hold of her jaw. Shivers went down her spine as his cold fingers gently maneuvered her head left and right under the moonlight, "Did he do that to you?"

Tenten shook his fingers off her jaw, "No...besides it's none of your concern. You don't even know me."

"I may not know you but I do know that no man should ever hit a woman. What happened to your eye?"

Tenten shook his fingers off her jaw and turned around,"I... accidentally fell and hit a...a..um-"

"Something in a shape of your boyfriend's fist?"

Tenten grit her teeth together, "No. It was a door knob! Look, I've got to go."

Neji's eyes turned into a violent shade and Tenten feared for her life expectancy, "Didn't I fucking tell you that I hate liars? The last guy who lied to me besides that pathetic drunk we encountered minutes ago, was almost drowned in a pool of his own blood," Neji's eyes lightened back up with a transparent facade of a smile and dug his hands in his pockets, "Anyways, I'll walk you back to the main grounds. I'm Neji. You didn't tell me your name."

Tenten's eye slightly twitched.

Bipolar bastard.

"You," Tenten narrowed her brown eyes at him, "don't have a lot of friends, do you?"

Neji knitted his eyebrows together, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Never mind. Anyways, I won't tell you my name. No matter how hot you are, just talking to you risks the separation of my head and body," Tenten pointed an accusing finger at him, "I don't know about you but I like my head attached to my body!"

Neji smirked at her like the smug little bastard he was, "So you think I'm hot?"

Tenten's face turned a crimson red, "This conversation alone could get my throat slashed."

The sound of crunching leaves filled the atmosphere, "I'm guessing Hidan is the jealous type?"

"He's not the jealous type as per say, it's just that...For example, if I call 911 and the operator is male, I have to hang up," she ranted to the long haired boy, "One time, the crazed sociopath was high and he said I wasn't allowed to swim because I might try to drown myself to escape the relat-Wait...I never said his name was Hidan."

Neji's teasing smile fell and he closed his eyes along with an ignorant shrug, "Lucky guess."

Tenten gulped, "Look, whatever problem you have with him, you can take it up with him. I refuse to be your messenger dog! And if you even think about kidnapping me to get Hidan to pay a ransom, don't even try. It's happened before and he said he wouldn't pay a dime over twenty dollars. I had to have my parents bail me out. So kidnapping me should be out of the question for you."

"So your parents know how badly he treats you and they allow you to be with him?"

"Don't change the subject."

"I can do whatever the hell I want."

Tenten sarcastically rolled her eyes, "What a rebel. Anyways, it's more complicated than it seems. My family is terrified of him. One time, I texted him saying that my family was keeping us apart. I thought I finally got rid of him until him and his hooligan friends broke into my house and he held my parents at gunpoint, generously asking for their approval on our relationship."

Neji semi-glared at her, "Do you come from a long line of idiots?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why did you even agree to be his woman? Do you lack common sense?"

Tenten clicked her tongue, "It's a long story."

"I've got time."

"You sure are stubborn," Tenten playfully said as she flicked his forehead.

Neji rolled his eyes, "Just go on with your stupid story."

"Well, you see, my family owns a weapon slash hunting equipment shop. So one day, Hidan and the rest of his juvenile friends came in the store with ski masks on. As they were robbing us, Hidan's best friend, Pein, made my parents open the cash register and Hidan was talking about our inventory when he laid his eyes on me. He used a breath spray, took off his ski mask and asked me out on a date."

"And you said yes? Moron."

Tenten's jaw almost dropped, "He was flailing around a machete near my neck. What was I supposed to say?!"

"You're supposed to say 'Get that machete out of my face, you psycho'."

Tenten narrowed his eyes at him, "I don't think I like that tone."

"My apologies but if he treats you so bad, why do you stay with him? You're too beautiful for trash like that. I can handle him if you'd like. Not to brag but I do know my way around a switchblade knife," Neji stoically winked at her, "Especially, to protect a lady such as yourself."

Tenten looked away so she could hide her blush but then she shook her head, "Have you even listened to anything I said?"

Neji stoically answered, "Only the parts that I care about."

Well then.

Hmph.

Tenten rolled her eyes at his irritating ignorance, "Look, point is he's psychotic. We're almost to the clearing so you'd better go now."

Neji shrugged his shoulders, "I want to have a word with this sociopath."

Tenten flailed her arms in frustration, "You're practically asking to get killed! You barely know me, it's not worth getting your skull bashed in. I mean it's not like you're not hot because you truly do look like a sex god. And I mean it when I say congratulations on your DNA. But I don't want you to end up in a coma just because my psychotic boyfriend gets a little possessive sometimes. I know this sounds incredibly rude but get away from me or you're gonna go home missing some limbs."

Tenten panted after saying that in one big breath of air. Neji broke out in a fit of husky laughter, "You're surprisingly cute when you're frustrated."

Tenten clicked her tongue in order to mask her embarrassment with annoyance, "I've tried to let you down easy but you're obviously thick headed. I don't want to see you. Thanks for getting that creep off me but I'm not interested. I have a lovely psychedelic boyfriend waiting for me elsewhere. So if you'll excuse me."

She began to walk away but turned around once again with her hands exasperated in the air as she saw Neji's firm smirk resting on his lips and his arms crossed against his chest, "And whatever the hell cologne you're wearing, keep wearing it because it smells amazing," she turned back around, "Good day."

The cause of the extra pitter-patter of feet behind her laughed whole-heartedly, "I've never met anyone like you before."

Tenten turned back around, "I said good day, sir!"

"That's okay, I like them a little feisty."

Tenten continued walking towards Hidan, thinking she had lost the handsome sex god that smelled like Tenten's personal euphoria. His face was indifferent as she walked up to him, "I couldn't find Kon-"

"So this is the woman beater," a husky voice behind her said as Neji slung a muscular arm around her shoulders.

Oh god.

Tell her family she loves them.

She didn't think she'd die this young.

Hidan took out the cancer stick out of his mouth and threw it on the ground, "What are you doing with him?"

Tenten nervously pointed to Neji with her thumb, "Who? This? I've never seen, talked or smelled him in my life."

Tenten gulped as the junkyard fell deadly silent. All eyes were on her, "I didn't know you were into such trash, Neji Hyuga."

Woah.

Woah, woah, woah.

Woah.

He was Neji Hyuga? THE Neji Hyuga? The infamous sociopath with the stoic face whom once put a thirty year old man in the hospital for saying that he was 'pretty'?! The gang leader of 'Byakugan' whom was rumored to be a psychotic weapon of mass murder? Neji Hyuga as in the merciless Neji Hyuga that once set fire to some poor guy for telling his cousin that she had a lovely bust?

Tenten gulped.

And to think, that she had almost idiotically told him that he smelled like unicorns and rainbows.

Neji morbidly chuckled, "And I didn't know you were such trash, Hidan."

Hidan mustered up a low chuckle, "What's a bloodthirsty lunatic like you doing around these parts?"

Tenten stood there paralyzed as if she was the middle, cream filling of a psychotic Oreo cookie in human form,"I can ask you the same question. But the question I want to ask is why the hell is a girl like this with an untrained mutt like you?"

Hidan clenched his jaw and took out his large, black switchblade, "Don't make me gut you alive, pretty boy."

"You think I'm pretty," Neji had a Sai-styled smile plastered on his face and took out his pistol from his pocket with his unoccupied hand, "It's such a shame that you're never going to see me again."

Hidan stepped closer to the indifferent Neji and terrified Tenten, (whom was currently praying for her life slash making her final, death wishes). Hidan cockily lifted up his switchblade near Neji's throat, "Why's that? Huh?"

Neji stoically took off the safety of his gun, "Because I'm going to blow your brains out for ever laying your hands on a woman."

Tenten cautiously attempted to peel Neji's hand off her, "I should go home. I-I think I have some laundry to do."

Hidan pressed his switchblade right against Neji's throat and Neji placed his gun on Hidan's temple, "If you're gonna do laundry, then you might as well take Neji's clothes cause they're about to be splattered with his fucking blood."

Neji shoved the gun closer to Hidan's face, "Didn't your filthy mother ever teach you that it's impolite to curse at women?"

Tenten's eyes shifted left and right. People had begun to take out their weapons in case a massive brawl broke out. She let out a big sigh, "There's no need to fight."

Hidan and Neji simultaneously glared at her and concurrently said, "Shut the fuck up."

Tenten mentally glared at Neji.

Whatever happened to 'it's impolite to curse at women'?

(Tenten concluded that he obviously suffered from some sort of bi-polar disorder.)

"Besides, we're not fighting," Hidan spat in her face.

(Yet they're holding lethal weapons towards each other.)

"I'm civilized unlike this savage before me. I'm not going to kill him," Tenten let out a big sigh of relief at Neji's comment,"Well, at least not here anyways."

Tenten took that big sigh of relief back.

"Why not tough guy?"

Neji briefly locked eyes with Tenten, "I want to make a good impression."

Neji felt a cold gun press against the back of his head, "I'd suggest you lower that gun before you hurt yourself, pal."

Neji rose a perfectly arched eyebrow and Tenten turned her head around to see Pein holding a gun to Neji's head. A blonde haired boy immediately ran behind Pein with Konan in hot pursuit and pulled a loaded gun against his heart, "Blood is gonna splatter today unless you lower that gun that you have on my leader's head."

Konan pointed her switchblade against Naruto's coconuts, "That's my boyfriend there, blondie. If you want to have children, I advise that you don't pull that trigger."

Tenten nervously chuckled, "Let's all calm down and keep the blood loss at a minimum."

Konan felt a hot sensation near her face. Sasuke sadistically smiled at her as he rose an opened water bottle to her eye range, "I have gasoline in one hand and a lighter in the other. Unless you want to burn alive, I suggest you don't do anything you will regret."

Well.

That escalated quickly.

(And to think that we're only in the first chapter.)

Tenten began to blow out big puffs of air. Neji and Hidan both looked at her in confusion and spontaneously said, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Trying to blow away some of the tension," Tenten said with a nervous chuckle.

Cricket, cricket.

She glanced around to see no one had even chuckled at her pathetic attempt of an ice-breaker. Everyone had indifferent looks on their faces.

Five.

Tenten closed her eyes.

Four.

Oh well.

She's lived a good life.

Three.

Sigh.

Two.

She hopes her family will donate all her belongings to a well-worthy organization.

One.

She wonders what school picture they'll use in the news when they announce her tragic death on channel ninety nine.

A full-out rumble erupted in the abandoned junkyard. Shots were fired and Tenten's ears rang with the screams of gang members whom were getting stabbed with lead pipes and mercilessly shot. Pein had turned around to help his girlfriend evade certain death. Neji clicked his tongue, "See what you did now, Hidan?"

Hidan let out a low 'tch' sound as he receded his lethal weapon and got on his motorcycle, "You're exactly like how the rumors describe you...a fucking psycho!"

Neji lowered his gun, "Well, if what you say is true then I'm in luck because seeing as your girlfriend is with you, she obviously has a fetish for deranged maniacs."

Neji quickly slid his hand from her shoulder to her jaw and pressed his soft lips against her full ones. It was a chaste kiss but nevertheless, sent tingles up and down her body. She felt her knees get weak and wobbly. He smirked at a now furious Hidan, "Tenten, fucking get on my fucking motorbike this fucking second before I lose my fucking temper."

Tenten had a feeling that he had already lost his temper.

Tenten quickly hopped on it, still stunned from that kiss with the tempting urge to run her fingers over her lips.

If she had a dollar for every time Hidan kissed her like that...well...

She'd be a broke, homeless hobo.

Neji radiated a murderous aura as he glared at Hidan, "Listen, if you even think about hurting a sole hair on her head, I will hunt you down, burn you alive and then proceed to destroy everyone and anything you've ever loved, you sick fuck."

"Fuck you," Hidan revved up his motorcycle and Tenten avoided eye contact with the gorgeous man.

"She'll be mine one day," Neji stoically challenged.

"Over my dead body!"

"Well, when you put it that way," Neji's eyes gleamed with a challenge, "That can be arranged."

An anime styled invisible electric current was exchanged between Hidan and Neji, "I don't have time for this. I'll get you back for humiliating me. Mark my words!"

Tenten clung to Hidan as he drove her home. The ride home was rushed and quiet...too quiet. When they arrived in front of Tenten's house, Hidan parked his motorcycle,"So goodnig-"

Hidan lit a cigarette, "Don't ever see that guy again. He gives me the chills."

"I won't," Tenten wailed her hands in denial, "He doesn't even know my name."

(Yeah, about that...)

Hidan knitted his eyebrows together at her, "You know he's only using you to get to me? I can see it in his eyes. He's got crazy eyes! The kind of crazy eyes that you see on violent episodes of animal planet. The veins in his face were practically popping out. Listen, I only hurt you cause you sometimes make me angry. If he has anybody to blame for your scars, it's you."

Tenten's false smile slightly faltered, "I know."

Hidan took a long drag of his cigarette, "You make me angry so I take it out on you. I hurt you because I love you."

Bullshit.

"I know."

"If he tries to get in contact with you, you tell me. The moment he laid his filthy hand on your shoulder, he proclaimed his death wish to me."

Tenten gulped, "Well, it's late. I'd better go inside.

"Tenten," Hidan turned on his motorcycle, "Wait. Come here."

Tenten walked up to him. She closed her eyes awaiting for the quick ring of a slap that never came. She opened her eyes, "Give me a kiss."

Hidan roughly grabbed her and shoved his tongue into her mouth, sloppily swishing it around, "If you look for him, I'm going to have to commit first degree murder. Twice. Do you understand?"

Tenten nodded," You shouldn't concern yourself with that guy. You're the only one I could ever have feelings for, Hidan. I love you."

If you think Tenten only said that to save her and Neji's asses then...

...you're absolutely right.

"Good. Then we have an understanding."

He drove away and when he was out of sight, Tenten used the back of her hand to wipe off her lips, "Not only is he a psycho but he's a psycho that can't kiss for his life."

Tenten snuck inside her house through her house's back door and headed straight to her room. She took off her shoes and jacket and jumped on her bed. She let out a big sigh and attempted to fall asleep.

Keyword; attempted.

She had laid there for an hour and a half, tossing and turning. She couldn't fall asleep. She had too much weight on her shoulders you know...with the psychotic killer of a boyfriend she had and the gorgeous, long haired lunatic of a sex god whom looked death in the eye and kissed his girlfriend practically proclaiming a declaration of war between 'Byakugan' and 'Akatsuki'.

Yet only one question lingered on her mind.

She sighed.

Why did she only attract the psychotic ones?


	2. Leg Warmers

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, Neji would still be alive T_T

A/N: I made this hilarious YouTube video reenacting my reaction to Neji's death/Chapter 614 so if you guys are having a bad day and need a laugh look up 'My reaction to Neji's death/Ch. 614' by Pamela Rodriguez. Enjoy the new chapter!

Tenten looked up and down at his green spandex one piece and orange leg warmers, "No."

Lee gaped at her as she walked away, "I didn't even ask the question. Heck, I didn't even introduce myself!"

Tenten continued to walk away in the school's corridor, "Whatever it is you have to ask, don't. I had to deal with two psychopaths on Friday. I spent the weekend hiding at my Grandma's house with her cane by my side in case one of them stalked me all the way to her house."

Lee scoffed and followed her down Konoha High's west side staircase, "Don't be ridiculous. Neji's not crazy.

Tenten gave him that look, "Didn't he put a guy in the hospital for talking about his cousin's cup size?"

Lee sighed, "Okay, so he's not 'that' crazy."

Tenten fixed her bangs, "So Neji sent you. You can go away. I don't want anything to do with him!"

"You're just in denial."

"No, I'm not."

"That's what someone in denial would say. Don't worry! Denial is always the first step."

Tenten scoffed as they arrived at her red locker. She rose an eyebrow as she noticed someone had broken the combination lock off, "If I open my locker and Neji's in there, I am going to jump out of a window."

Tenten cautiously opened her locker, completely prepared to punch her admirer's 'swimsuit area'. She indifferently stared at the dozens of roses stuffed in her locker. Lee peeked in and gasped, "Wow! That sure is romantic! He's such a cool and youthful guy!"

"How did he find my locker? That creep needs to get me a new lock," Tenten swiped the white note taped to one of the roses.

There's two kinds of people in the world.

"What does it say?"

"'Does that bastard buy you roses? P.S. Sorry about the lock. P.S.S. I threw out all of your textbooks and notebooks to make room for the roses. P.S.S.S There's no need to thank me. P.S.S.S.S you're welcome."

Tenten hastily crumpled up the note and threw it at Lee's head. Tenten sighed, "He's crazy. It's official."

Tenten looked left and right in the empty corridor for the trashcan that he might've used, "You, whatever the heck your name is, please bring that trashcan over here."

Lee marched over to said trashcan, "Anything for Neji's woman!"

Tenten grit her teeth, "I'm not his woman! Never was, never will be."

Lee rolled the trashcan towards her locker, "Let's be realistic now. He's gorgeous, he's youthful, he's rich, he's youthful!"

Tenten opened the trashcan and began scavenging for her school supplies, "Then you date him! I have a boyfriend. A crazy one nonetheless."

Lee laughed as he helped her take her books out of the trashcan, "Come on now. He's into you and I already have a girlfriend. Well, she's not my girlfriend but she's my girlfriend. She's Neji's ex-girlfriend but I love her more than Neji."

Tenten rolled her eyes as she set all of the books on the floor in front of her locker, "Is that you why you're trying to be a good wing man to Neji? So you can have his leftovers?"

"Ye-No! I'm his best friend. I'm rooting for him."

Tenten scoffed, "So that's what they're calling it nowadays."

After Tenten accounted for all of her books, she moved the trashcan closer to her locker and began pushing out the red roses into the trashcan, "Stop! You'll get hurt with the thorns. I'll do it even if it's not youthful!"

Tenten rolled her eyes and began stuffing her books in her locker's top shelf, "What are you doing here anyway? School ended ten minutes ago."

Lee shrugged, "I don't even go here."

"So Neji sent you to stalk me?"

"Basically."

Tenten shook her head with a roll of her brown eyes, "Gee, that's romantic."

"Don't tell him that I told you this but he said that he couldn't stop thinking about you ever since he met you. He just wants you to be safe. You should be glad that Neji is so protective!"

Tenten shook her head in order to shake off the pink blush on her cheeks, "If that's some sickly-sweet ruse that is supposed to convince me to like Neji, it's not working!"

(It was totally working.)

"I would never lie! Anyways, why did you stay past the bell?"

Tenten let out a heavy sigh, "Sometimes Hidan waits outside for me. If he can't find me in the crowd within the first couple minutes, he gives up."

Lee shook his head, "He's not youthful at all!"

"'Youthful' or not, I have to be with him. I don't have a choice."

Lee dropped the last handful of roses in the trashcan and then proceeded to place his hands on Tenten's shoulders, "You always have a choice."

Tenten blinked, "Wow. That sure was deep for a guy wearing a green onesie and my mother's leg warmers from the 80s."

Lee laughed as Tenten shook her head and closed her locker, "Well, I'm going home now."

Lee happily nodded as Tenten walked away. Tenten looked back to see Lee still in tow, "You can leave now."

Lee nodded and Tenten turned back around. She continued walking towards the exit but the extra pitter patter of feet was still there, "Why are you still following me? You can go home. It's not like Neji assigned you to be my bodyguard."

Lee awkwardly scratched his head, "Weeeeeeeeelll..."

"You're kidding me."

"Hidan is a dangerous guy! He just wants you to be safe like the good future husband that he is."

Tenten scoffed, "Okay. This is beyond being ridiculous. I'm going to walk away now."

Tenten and the stranger walked down the corridors with Lee. Tenten sped up her walking with Lee in tow. He was still hot on her trail so she began to run. She looked behind her as she jumped down a flight of stairs, "Stay awa-"

She collided into a strong chest that caught her body with toned arms.

She closed her eyes.

If it was Hidan, she would cry.

If it was Neji, she would also cry.

It was a lose/lose situation so she thought she might as well open her eyes to see who the inevitable terror was.

Tenten looked up and let out a sigh of relief, "Is this guy giving you trouble, Tenten?"

Genma Shiranui.

Tenten's stiff body loosened and her arms subconsciously wrapped themselves around Genma's hips, "No trouble at all. What are you still doing here?"

"I have a student council meeting and I went to the the bathroom first," Genma stared down at Lee, "Wait, is this the guy that always beats you?! Is that why he was chasing you around?"

Tenten blushed and shook her head, "No one beats me. I have four brothers at home and they just get a little rough with me, that's all."

Genma nodded, "So this guy isn't your boyfriend?"

Tenten looked at Lee then back at Genma, "He wears a green spandex suit with orange leg warmers."

Genma laughed, "Good point. But speaking of boyfriends, do you happen to have one? I've been meaning to ask for a while."

"Nope! No boyfriend here."

Lee rose an eyebrow as Genma chuckled. He winked at an almost drooling Tenten, "Good to know. Anyways, uh, can you let go of me? There can't be a student council meeting without the president."

Tenten flew her arms in the air and stepped back with a crimson face, "Sorry! Sorry! Go to the meeting."

Genma chuckled and pat the top of her head, "Take care, kiddo. And tell your brothers to stop rough housing you or else I will personally ensure that you don't get hurt by them anymore."

As soon as he was out of sight and disappeared into one of the classrooms, Lee walked up to Tenten, "What was that?"

Tenten shook the blush of her face, "Nothing."

"Byakugan did research on you and you don't have any brothers. Only a little sister named Moegi."

"Sometimes you have to lie in order to protect someone."

Lee knitted his eyebrows together, "To protect him or you?"

Tenten shrugged, "A little bit of both."

"Why'd you tell him that you're not taken?"

"You ask too many questions," Tenten said as she turned around and began walking down the flight of stairs.

Lee grabbed Tenten's elbow and gently pulled on it to force her to turn around and face, "You like him, don't you?"

Tenten's eyes slightly widened and shook her elbow out of his hold, "What do you know?"

"I know that you look at him like how Neji looks at you."

Tenten gaped as a pink blush painted her cheek bones, "Go home!"

"What do you like about him? Is it the toothpick hanging from his mouth?"

"Neji can buy toothpicks!"

"Neji's going to be so upset when he finds out that you like some un-youthful guy like him."

Tenten stopped ignoring him and turned around with a murderous aura, (one that rubbed off on her from hanging out with Hidan too much). Tenten pointed an accusing finger at him, "If Neji finds out, Hidan finds out. If Hidan finds out, Genma and I will both be lying seven feet under the ground. Genma is nothing but a normal high school, quickly fleeting crush and if they find out, they will crush him."

"Neji needs to know and it's my duty to tell him what his woman has been up to!"

Tenten rose a devilish eyebrow as she walked up to him, "Then I wonder if he needs to know that his best friend touched my breast."

Lee gaped at her, "I-I never-"

Tenten quickly grabbed his hand and rested it over her right boob for 0.2 seconds, "Desperate times call for desperate measures. You tell him about Genma and I tell him how your hands are a little too youthful if you know what I mean."

Lee gaped at her, "You're pure evil! No wonder Neji's so attracted to you."

Tenten ignored the energetic stranger as he continued following her. They finally got outside and Tenten's breath hitched in her throat. Lee hit Tenten's back as she stopped in her tracks. Lee moved his head to the right to see what had caused her to stop.

Right between the entrance gates of Konoha High were the two most lethal gangs in Konoha. An imaginary static of electricity roared between Neji and Hidan as they glared daggers into each other. The two gangs already had their murder weapons out just in case another Mexican standoff occurred again.

What's your name again?"

"Lee."

"Okay, Lee. Just slowly start backing away so they won't notice us."

Lee chuckled and began to haul her away towards Neji, "Neji! Neji! Here's Tenten."

Tenten struggled against his hidden strength, "I don't want to talk to him."

Lee nonetheless continued to pull her toward the entrance gate practically signing Tenten's death wish, "Why not?"

"I'd rather eat hair than see him!"

Lee ignored her futile attempts to prevent her death. He dragged her right in the center of the imaginary static between the two lovesick psychos. Lee let go of her arm and walked over to a nonchalant Neji.

Tenten gulped.

"Well, well, if it isn't my girlfriend," Hidan boasted.

Neji narrowed his piercing eyes at the antagonist, "Don't talk to her like she's your property..."

Tenten mentally nodded. She wasn't an item! She was a breathing, living human. She shouldn't be talked about as if she belonged to someone...and props to Neji for respecting th-"

"...since she's my property."

Never mind.

Tenten let out a hopeful sigh.

Neji strode over to Tenten and swung a protective arm around her, "Tenten, it's about time that you told this washed up chump that you're with me now."

Since when?!

Tenten looked at Neji as if he was psychotic.(..which he was.)

"Neji, please understand that I'm with Hidan," Tenten attempted explain as an anime sweatdrop appeared on her forehead, "He's the only guy for me. I'll never have feelings for any other guy."

Neji scoffed and took a hold of her jaw in order to make her look at him, "Tenten, don't be scared to reject Hidan. As long as I'm around to protect you, he won't hurt you."

Neji moved his mouth closer to Tenten's ear, "And what's with the whole 'never have feelings for anyone else' when I know I wasn't the only one who felt a spark when we kissed."

Forbidden tingles ran down Tenten's spine as his minty breath tickled her ear.

"Alright, that's enough loverboy," Hidan stomped over to them and peeled them apart while pushing Tenten to the ground in the process, "Let's go home. I don't want to waste my time with this l'oreal model."

Tenten quickly shuffled to her feet, already accustomed to Hidan's rough touch. Neji's jaw tightened as he marched up to Tenten's side, "Tenten, why don't you leave this untrained mutt and be with me? He obviously doesn't care about you if he treats you like a punching bag!"

Hidan walked over to them and pulled Tenten's opposing arm towards him, "Stop talking shit, Hyuuga! I'm in love with her!"

Neji's eyes were filled with overprotective rage and practically growled at Hidan, "What kind of love leaves you with a black eye?!"

Hidan rolled his eyes like the ignorant bastard that he was, "Mind your business! Don't you have to go shampoo your hair or something, princess?"

Neji gently pulled her other arm towards him, "And don't you have to go to obedience school?"

Hidan pulled her towards him once again and Neji mimicked his movement, "My arms are starting to hurt."

"See, Hidan? All you do is hurt her."

"Me? You're the one who's making me hurt her!"

"That's bullshit and you know it!"

"Shut the hell up!"

Neji sighed, "I didn't want to have another murder on my record but you've hit my limit of patience."

"She's my woman and I can do whatever the hell I want with her!"

Neji had a challenging gleam in his eyes, "Not for long."

Hidan let go of Tenten's arm and Neji did the same. They got into each others' faces spewing venom as Tenten slowly backed away. The Akatsuki began inching towards Neji's gang with already prepared weapons while Neji's gang retaliated with an intimidating look that practically dared Hidan's gang to do something.

Switchblades rang as they struck together. Bullets were loaded into pistols and the safety buttons were switched off. Brass knuckles were slipped onto fingers. Tenten continued to walk away as she saw that blood was about to spill. The Akatsuki and Byakugan began to merge as a fight had quickly erupted.

Konan quickly ran over to Lee and socked him in the gut while Sasuke loaded his bullets into his pistol. Sai nonchalantly began to swing his survival knife at Pein who managed to dodge every single slash. Juugo squat and kicked Choji who had previously been running towards him.

"Go home, you bastard," Hidan said as he flung his fist towards Neji's beautiful face.

"I don't have a home. I have a mansion that Tenten would love so she should come with me," Neji shouted as he dodged Hidan's fist.

Hidan took out his swithblade and flipped it open, "Yeah, punk?"

Neji took out his gun with the safety already off, "Yeah!"

"Well, well...I have a coupon for eighty percent off at Ichiraku's ramen."

"Wait, wait! Wait!"

Everyone froze in their fighting positions and looked towards where the sound of the voice came from. Everyone looked at Naruto as he came in between Hidan and Neji, "First of all, where the hell did you get that coupon?"

Neji glared at Naruto with his nostrils flared while a confused Hidan looked at Naruto, "Is he joking? Is he fucking joking?"

Neji shook his head, "Is this really the time and place to ask that?"

Naruto awkwardly scratched his blonde locks, "You're right but secondly, you guys are fighting over a girl that isn't even here. Where is Tenten?"

The two lovesick psychos glanced around to discover a missing common love interest, "Great, thanks a lot Hidan. You scared my woman away."

"She's not yours. And she never will be," Hidan hissed as he shoved his switchblade dangerously near Neji's gorgeous face.

Neji nonchalantly pushed the switchblade out of his personal space, "I don't have time to slit your throat or tell you about how she's been mine for a while now . I've got to go find my future wife."

"She's not going to leave me so save your breath!"

Neji and Hidan glared at each other. Neji roughly pushed Hidan to the ground, "Byakugan! Find her!"

"Akatsuki! Spread out! Whoever finds her first gets the eighty percent off coupon at Ichiraku's ramen shop."

"Is that offer only available to Akatsuki members or-?"

"Naruto! Now is not the time," Sasuke shouted as he got a hold of Naruto's ear and pulled him away.

The lethal gang members disbanded and ran in different directions looking for two brown buns. Meanwhile, seven blocks away from Konoha High school's gates, Tenten was getting pulled by a hooded figure, "What the heck? Let me go!"

The hooded figure had girly hands but a strong grip. The hooded figure led Tenten in an alleyway and looked right and left. The stranger turned towards Tenten, "We're safe. It doesn't look like anyone followed us."

Tenten scratched her temple, "Sometimes, I feel like I'm the only sane person in this town. What do you want from me? Who are you?"

The hooded figure kept her head down, "I am the reason why you're currently in this jam. I don't have a lot of time to explain but I'm the reason that Neji-"

"I think I saw her go this way!"

The stranger took out an envelope and handed it to Tenten, "Long story short is that you have to get out of Konoha before things get too messy. I love him to death but Neji can get a little crazy sometimes and it's my fault that this all started so I feel like it's my responsibility to help you out."

Tenten opened the envelope, "What is this?"

"There are four train tickets to Suna. For your dad, your mom, your little sister and for you. Your train takes off at seven o'clock. I've arranged for my driver to pick you up at six. They're looking for you so please take this to disguise yourself."

The hooded stranger took off her sweater and gave it to Tenten while adjusting her cap in order to hide her face and hair, "Please try to stay alive until then, Tenten."

The unnamed stranger hurriedly left the alleyway with a confused Tenten in it. Tenten slipped on the sweater and pulled the hoodie over her head. She ripped the envelope along with its insides and threw them in the dumpster in the alleyway. She shook her head and began her walk home.

Fricking weirdos nowadays.

She kept her head to the ground so she didn't realize how many gang members she passed that were looking for her.

As she got on her block, she had a queasy feeling resting at the bottom of her stomach. Her brown eyes shifted left and right looking for any gang members. She walked up to her house, still wary of her surroundings and kneeled down to have a closer look at the door knob.

It was broken.

Tenten lifted up the 'Welcome' mat and took out the switchblade under it. She cautiously opened the door and stepped inside, "I'm home."

She took off her hood and slipped the switchblade in her right sleeve, "Honey! W-we're in the living room! We have to talk about something."

Tenten slowly walked in the living room only to find Hidan standing in the middle of her terrified parents, a gun pointing at each of their heads. Hidan nudged her father's face silently suggesting that he begin talking or his brains would be splattered on their brand new, burgundy carpet, "Our favorite future son in law came and told us that you've been unfaithful to him."

Pitiful tears streamed down her mother's face, "H-how could you do this to him? Or more importantly, to us?"

Tenten tremblingly walked closer to Hidan, "Baby, you know it's not like that."

"I told you to tell me if he tried coming in contact with you and then you spend the weekend with him, you whore!"

Tenten viciously shook her head as she attempted to hide her tremor, "No! I wasn't with him, I was at my grandmother's house. I would never, ever cheat on you."

Hidan rose an eyebrow but kept both his hands in their murderous position, "What was he doing at your school then?"

Tenten shrugged as if her life and her family's lives weren't on the edge of no return, "The freak is obsessed with me but I only want you. He just doesn't get it."

"When I kill him, maybe then, he'll get it."

"You can't kill him," the words had involuntarily slipped out of her mouth.

"And why not? It's not like you have feelings for that douchebag, right?"

"Of course I don't. I love you! He's just a crazed stalker."

A crazed stalker that made her heart skip a few beats.

(Not that she would ever admit it unless she wanted to be sleeping with the fishes if you know what I mean.)

"Then what's it to you if I strangle him or not?"

"If you kill him, his gang will come after you and me. They'll ruin our relationship, baby. We can't let that happen," Tenten rambled on as she slowly inched closer to him.

Hidan lowered his guns and let Tenten waltz right into his deadly arms, "Sorry babe. It's just that my love for you is so strong that it drives me to do things like this. You know it's just because I love you so much."

Tenten discreetly rolled her eyes.

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

Hidan laughed and slipped his guns into his pockets. He pat Tenten's father's still-trembling shoulder, "Sorry dad. Sorry mom. Tenten here just loves making me jealous."

Tenten's mother uncomfortably gulped, "We should've raised her better... s-s-son."

"Damn right you should've," Hidan said with a certain gleam in his eye that Tenten caught for a split second. Hidan's face lightened up, "So Tenten, I think you should order me a pizza since you do owe

Me after all."

Tenten sighed and nodded.

But at least 'that' problem was solv-

"Wait," Lee shouted as he rushed down the house's stairs.

Nevermind.

Hidan pushed Tenten out of the way and pointed a gun at Lee, "Who's this fucktard?"

Tenten mentally self palmed herself as she mumbled something about looking for a death note for the youthful boy.

Lee sprinted down the stairs, "I'm Lee! The most youthful guy in Konoha and wingman to Neji Hyuuga."

Tenten's dad quickly stood up, "Wait, is he Neji Hyuuga from the almighty and rich Hyuuga family? He likes our Tenten? You hear that, hon? We're rich! We're rich!"

Hidan looked back at Tenten's dad and glared at him with a murderous aura. Tenten's dad sat back down and gulped, "Tenten, you're forbidden from seeing this Neji guy ever again!"

Lee walked towards Tenten's parents and handed them each a thin pamphlet, "Here's just a little information about your daughter's future husband such as his extracurricular activities, background, his family's income, etcetera."

"What the hell are you trying to do, asshole?"

"Leading Tenten in the right direction that is Neji Hyuuga."

"Why I oughta-"

Lee kicked the guns out of Hidan's hands and Hidan swung at Lee. Lee maneuvered his head down in order to avoid getting hit. Tenten's parents continued to read the pamphlet as the two guys continued to fight in the middle of their living room. Tenten began to repeatedly hit her head off the wall.

Lee skillfully dodged all of his attacks, even when Hidan brought out the switchblade. Lee swiftly moved and took out his ringing cellphone. He nonchalantly answered it as he continued to fight Hidan, "Hello! This is Lee speaking. No, I'm not busy at the moment. Right now? But what about Tenten? Understood."

Lee slipped his phone in his pocket and waved goodbye to Tenten and her parents, "Something has come up. Goodbye Tenten. It was nice meeting you all!"

"Are you fucking demented, punk?!"

Lee dodged all of his attacks all the way to the door, "If I was demented, how did I survive our fight this long?"

Touché.

Lee smoothly ran out the door and Hidan grit his teeth. He slammed the door shut and Tenten's mother whimpered as he returned to the living room. He rolled his eyes and scoffed, "What a psycho. Am I right or am I right?"

Oh, the irony.

Tenten's father gulped, "You're right. You always are."

Hidan let out a hearty laugh and put his hands together, "I'm starved! So what are we having for dinner?"

Apparently, Tenten's tears and hopes of ever being able to lead a normal life.

Who the hell invited him to dinner anyways?

And only one question lingered on her mind as she and her parents stiffly ate dinner with Hidan as he boasted about how he had scared Lee away.

Was it too late to glue the train tickets back together?


End file.
